Today marks the beginning of my second month here at Camp Fed, I can honestly say the first month was a learning experience. I never dreamed that the prison experience would be as it is, no matter how much you think you’re prepared for, you’re not. This has been a complete shock to my nervous system, to my sensibilities and to my preconceived ideas as to what this would be like.
For one thing you have to learn that you are no longer in control of your everyday life, that you have to march to the beat of an institutional drum. There are rules that you must adhere to, there are rules that change at the whim of the institution then there are the rules of the inmates, these are the unwritten rules that you learn from word of mouth and experience. Then there is the total and complete lack of privacy, toss that out the window, gone. You need to adapt to the noise level, there is always noise here, 24/7 there is a surrounding undercurrent of noise, fans, machines, men laughing, screaming, talking, announcements over the PA system at all hours of the day and night, it never stops. There are constant distractions, so finding a place to be alone and think is very difficult. Then there is the boredom, the repetition of the days, the sameness of the prison life that hangs over the prison life like a fog. The boredom might be the biggest challenge we face.
I’ve learned that in the midst of all of this I can stay focused and positive and do what I feel I need to do to make this a productive experience, one where I will continue to grow and one that will not beat me down. I look forward to learning more in month 2 and the following months and to continue to find things that keep me on a positive path.