February 22, 2015
The Number One Thing To Do Before Federal Prison
“In a way it is just easier, keeps hope alive, and after all, some do win,” a prospect skeptically said to me while justifying $50K he is spending on an appeal.
“Well, given your unusual financial condition $50K seems like a drop in the bucket, so you should pursue your right to appeal. Good for you. I wish you well. Should you wish to prepare more aggressively for the inevitable—after all you will be in prison while the appeal is being heard—I am available,” I told this doctor from Oregon.
“I am sorry if I gave you the impression I am wealthy. I am not. I will be borrowing the $50K from my in laws to pay the lawyer who is REALLY encouraging me to do this. He likes our chances, thinks we got a good chance.”
“You should feel so fortunate and grateful you have wealthy in laws who believe in your innocence enough to support your appeal. Make sure you nurture that love and remind them that you will work hard to feel worthy of their support—not with words, but deeds.”
“They know I am grateful, but they are not wealthy. Both live on a pension. In fact, my father in law will have to liquidate his retirement account to make it happen.”
“You are indeed fortunate, so fortunate. I beg you to prove worthy of this gift. May I ask you some more questions.”
“Yes.”
“On a scale of 1-10 how well are you preparing for the obstacles that await you and your family? Prison, life after prison, employment (like many licensed professionals he went to trial in part because he feared the consequences of losing his license), probation, and so on. Not some lawyer selling a modicum of hope for $50K, but how well are you preparing?”
“I would say a 6. Putting a lot of faith in that appeal, so I am holding back from going all in. Plus I expect to be in front of the board within 5 years to try to reclaim my license. I have time.”
“Scary” was all I could muster.
After some penetrating questions I learned a 6 was the gift of the century. That made up number was not rooted in reality.
When I pressed him again on why he was not preparing, he said.
“As I said, just taking in the recent court delay, you know. Thinking about what’s next. I will get there. My lawyer told me to relax a bit; he’s got it covered. He told me RDAP would knock a year off if I go, but that winning my appeal would get me out even sooner. Going away this weekend to chill. Hey to your fee, will you work with me? I’m also looking to hire someone to cover up my government press releases. So that cost and this appeal is setting us back, big. You seem a little serious for me, but I still think you can help me, though. Let’s talk brass tacks: What’s your bottom number?”
“Based on everything you have told me, together with your unwillingness to prepare, I will not take your money—or rather your in-laws money. Based on your actions that you described to me you are not ready. You are trying to buy your way out of this, and not once have you told me what YOU will do, how YOU will prepare, how YOU will bring relief to your struggling wife, what YOUR strategy is to get some dignity back and prepare for a better outcome. Judges are tired of hearing lawyers extol the virtues of their clients—even Bernard Madoff’s lawyer had to offer some good deeds to the court I presume. That is what lawyers do—it is what they are paid to do. What are YOU doing to demonstrate to the court you are different than their version of events? Until you begin to answer these questions, you will remain stuck in La La Land.
“Little harsh, huh.”
“You told me to speak honestly to you—that you called me because you heard I was different than other prison consultants that sold results without effort. Do you want me to appease or mollify you? I did that in my 20s—it was a tendency that helped lead me to prison. You told me three minutes ago your wife and children mattered the most to you, that they are your highest values. But your actions belie such statements, my friend. Your grinding me on a fee I will not accept, but allowing your in-laws to go broke to pay a PR firm and finance an appeal that data suggests you have little chance of winning. Now, tell me: Are you really living faithfully to your values?”
I continued, “I’ve been to federal prison. I know about life in federal prison and now earn a living offering prison advice. That experience of going to prison and studying success and failure tells me what is in store for you if you do not prepare. Take action or not, but do not say you were not forewarned. Success, as you define it, will not happen without effort and I would not take anyone’s money unless I thought they were willing to work. At this time, on this call, you are not willing to work. Am I wrong?”
“No, you are not wrong. This is just hard, really hard. The delays make me feel good as if somehow this will continue forever without finality. I am not honest with my network, in laws and even my wife. I have convinced them I was wronged. I was not. I am delaying the inevitable. I do not want to go to prison and be away from my wife and kids. This is just really, really hard. “
“Now, we are making progress,” I told him as he began weeping. “Let’s schedule a call with your wife and let’s walk her through the complexities you are facing and begin to create a plan of action that will better prepare all of you for your future.
“Okay, it will be hard,” he said.
“Not preparing is harder,” I assured him.
Money is usually not the reason someone doesn’t hire me. It might be their excuse, but it is usually not the reason. Part of the reason is because too many people are unwilling to embrace the reality of their new life. It is easier to write a check to a lawyer and hope.
I speak to defendants in the same way I needed someone to speak to me. Rather than obsess over getting an extra month in the halfway house because of the 2nd chance act, I needed someone to tell me that without preparations life after prison would be 10,000,000 times harder than any prison term.
Many of the people that reach out to and hire me have the strength and courage to ask the hard questions and begin taking massive amounts of action. Others, I know because I was there, choose the easy escape from preparing by avoiding. Through alcohol, denial, laziness, or the “I will get there eventually you know”, they avoid responsibilities that would improve their life and allow them to live faithfully to their highest values: their family and their freedom.
At times it is just easier to delay doing the right thing, to divert attention to more pressing matters. “I am going away this weekend to decompress, to access my options,” I often hear. When they do not admit is that it is no vacation—they are already in prison. Before my guilty plea and sentencing I took myself to the Ojai Spa and Bath Inn. Thirty-six holes of golf a day, good food, wine, and tobacco consumed my attention. But I was already in prison and later hated myself for vacationing when I should have been preparing.
Delaying or avoiding certainly presents some shorter term rewards, but I know through experience it is the most effective strategy to guarantee long term suffering. Life is hard, prison is hard, I know. I speak directly because I was once the defendant on the other end of the line. I needed someone to tell me that I was a walking contradiction, that I was lazy, full of denial, regret, and that taking action would be much harder than simply scratching a check to someone.
I’m so passionate because I want my readers to prove to their network that their professed values are not clichés or platitudes, but real. At any moment you can take action and feel that sense of accomplishment for keeping a positive attitude, especially when so much is imploding around you. When you take that positive action, you will no longer drown in a sea of pessimism or misery. And that is the number one thing to do before federal prison: take some sort of positive action.
To close, it is the rarest of individuals who can live in denial, avoid preparing and somehow achieve success.
Justin Paperny
P.S. – This defendant asked me to share this dialogue so others would learn from him. Since our call we have spoken repeatedly, and with his family, created a blueprint for the road ahead.
