May 30, 2014
So, I recently did an interview regarding my blog from FCI Petersburg. The reporter asked me questions like what inspired me to write it from federal prison and how was the transition to federal prison. I’m going to share some of this with you because I don’t think I have.
My blog was originally intended to be written for my family and friends to track my progress from federal prison. They were all concerned about me, and this was a way to reassure them that I was ok, and working daily to achieve the goals I set before I left.
The topics of my blog come from really whatever the wind blows my way. In the beginning, it was the scene here and the adjustment, the food, books I was reading, etc. It has now morphed into the lessons I am learning from federal prison and the new perspectives I have gained throughout this journey. My perspective today is much different than day 1 or week 2 etc. I’ve calmed down. I handle myself in a more mellow way. I am maturing and growing into this prison term.
I look back at my transition and realize it could have been easier than it was. This was partly due to the fact I was being held accountable in a way that I did not necessarily agree with. Many prisoners say that, I know. Still, I expected a different outcome. Embracing a different reality—prison—took some getting used to.
I walked in here not only scared to death, but frustrated in my heart that justice on my end was not served. This coupled with the more important things such as being separated from my family, made it a real hard pill to swallow. For those reasons and more my adjustment took time. But I’m growing through struggle.
I put on a tough face in the beginning grinding day by day, almost second by second focusing mainly on constant running to try to relieve my stress. My thoughts rambled and I just tried to have tunnel vision to gut my way through and not to break down. Breaking down was inevitable. I did it more than once. I feel like each time I did, it made me stronger.
I’ve been in here over 90 days and I am sure I will continue to gain perspective. For now, I am off to run, to work, then work my way through a good book.