September 8, 2014
A really good friend of the family and friend of mine has been corresponding with me for some time now. I really enjoy writing him; he's a great man, with a big heart and a warm soul. In our letters we talk about many things, from hunting, fishing, golfing to family, business, politics and religion. It feels good to have people on the outside write and communicate just because they care, wanting nothing in return. In prison it gets a little more difficult with passing time to remember that there are many people that care about you, wanting nothing more than reciprocating love and compassion because of a constant interaction with inmates that function through communication with others only to gain and acquire, no matter what there always seems to be a hidden agenda. Often I write about the negative aspect of prison because that's all there seems to be to write about. If all is well and I'm having a good day and nothing interesting has occurred, then there's nothing really to write about. My friend that I correspond with knows about my blog, but has never commented on it to me, so I asked him what he thought and was a little sadden and slightly disturbed to hear that he preferred to stick to our personal letters to each other because my blog is a little dark and it makes him sad to read it. This really opened up my eyes because I never really thought about it in terms of dark and sad, I saw it more along the lines of informing the community of common occurrences in prison. Now that I think about my writing, I can see what he's talking about. Now I have to wonder how others that read my blog view it. My purpose is not to sadden or depress others, I simply want to inform, update and most importantly hold myself accountable for my day to day life in prison through my writing, thus strengthening my foundation on which to build a successful career and lasting reputation as a contributing member of society upon my release from prison and for the rest of my life. Having said that, from now on I'll try to keep in mind what I'm writing about and how I portray said topics, with an attempt to sound more informative then depressing. Believe it or not, I'm very happy with my life, even as a prisoner in a state penitentiary, because now I have meaning and purpose, with goals and aspirations. Sobriety has opened my eyes and awakened my inner soul, once again I have feelings, compassion and a love for life, myself and others and a strong desire to create a lasting future that grows with every passing day.
