January 25, 2015
This morning I made my usual Sunday morning phone call home to have a 'catch up' conversation with my parents. Today my mother has a lot on her to-do-list, one of which is getting my grandmother moved in to a retirement home for a one week trial period. This is very difficult for me to hear, my grandmother had always been so strong, full of energy, moving around with no problems, and now my grandmother is getting weak, she needs a cane to walk around, she's constantly having to see the doctor about medical problems that come with growing old. I grew up in my grandmother's house and now, today she's moving out of it, going to a home with nurses and doctors because she can't take care of herself. It makes my heart ache to think that I'm losing my grandmother, she helped raise me, she just means so much to me and the rest of my family, she's the glue that holds my family together so tightly. I'ved missed out on so much of my loved ones lives, I always told myself that I had all the time in the world to get my life together, show my family the love and care that they deserve from me, and in the blink of an eye, life has passed me by, I've already lost loved ones and now I fear that I'll lose my grandma before I can even get out of prison. I pray everyday for God to heal and strengthen my grandmother, keeping her around for more years to come. My grandma has already lost two of her own children, I'm sure it's really hurting her to the point where she's letting go of life and that really hurts to think about, especially knowing that I was never strong and sober enough to be there for her, to give her a shoulder to cry on, to help her around the house, returning the loving favor for all that she's done for me over the years. I just want the chance to show her my love, my appreciation, to show her that all the love and care that she put into helping me grow into a good man was all worth it.
Steven Dybvad
