December 31, 2014
I had assumed yesterday would be my last blog of the year, but I was wrong. I woke this morning to a blog posted by the mother of Steven Dybvad, a client and friend serving time in an Ohio State Prison. I am sharing the blog because Steven's approach to overcoming his current struggle is something we can all learn from. I know Steven. I have visited Steven in that filthy Ohio State Prison. I know Steven does not use drugs. I know someone set him up. Through it all, however, he perseveres, while finding perspective and meaning. In my early sessions with Steven I encouraged him and later sent him the writings of the Roman Stoics--you know those that tell you not to complain, to recognize matters could always be worse, and to handle adversity with dignity and purpose. Steven's lengthy record from the inside demonstrates he has taken their message to heart. I post his blog below:
MAKE THE NECESSARY CHANGES IN LIFE BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE, BY STEVEN DYBVAD
"So here I sit, on cell isolations punishment, a three months’ sentence for a urine screen that supposedly tested positive for T.H.C…This wouldn’t be such a hard pill for me to swallow if I had actually smoked pot recently, I would have been prepared for such a punishment, accepting a ninety day sentence for a poor decision and moving on, but since I haven’t used drugs in more than three years this has been very difficult for me to deal with. I was caught completely off guard, devastated by something I was convinced I would never have to go through again as a recovering addict, and yet here I sit until December 31st. I remember my first few days after finding out about this that I felt much like the same way I felt after my arrest, sitting in the county jail, facing a sentence for committing a crime, feeling helpless. I don’t know why I felt the same way, going through a situation that I’m not responsible for, all I know is that it was a horrible feeling, a feeling I never want to have for the rest of my life. Maybe it’s because I know how easily one can get trapped within the system, guilty or not guilty, the sad fact of prison is that an inmate is guilty until proven guilty and there’s nothing you can do about it. So they took away all of my personal belongings and packed them away in storage, my guitar, my watch, my books, all my clothes, my vitamins, even my hygiene supplies, forcing me to purchase everything I’ve accumulated from the commissary all over again. They also took away my prison issued shirts and pants and made me wear a one piece jump suit to separate me from the general population, standing out in a crowd, making it easier for the guards to see who the problematic inmates are. If in fact I have to remain on cell isolations for the full ninety days that means that I’ll be in here for the rest of the year, unable to see my family on a video visit for the holidays, or even talk to them on the phone for that matter. Visitations where my family can come see me, bring my children so I can hug them, kiss them and see how much they’ve grown have been taken from me. Now I sit here in a desolate cell, with some annoying kid that’s just a year older then my daughter, with terrible hygiene, smelly feet and spends all day singing rap music out loud, making it hard to concentrate or even think. I don’t know why this is happening to me right now, I’m trying to find the silver lining hiding in all this mess, but all I can come up with right now is that this is just another harsh part of being a prisoner of the state. I did this to myself when I chose to break the law 3 1/2 years ago. My advice to any one reading this is if you’re living a life that gambles with your own freedom and you don’t like reading about what I’m going through as an inmate then stop what you’re doing, find help for yourself, make the necessary changes in your life before it’s too late. If you’re on your way to prison, and then prepare yourself, it’s not going to be easy, but you can make a difference, you can change your future, it’s not too late, it’s not going to be easy. I’m learning that the good things in life are never easy to attain. Even today with all that I’m going through, my life and my future is better and more promising than ever and that’s because I continue to live at a higher standard, one with goals, morals, values and more importantly one that’s free from the use of substances. You can take that to the bank.
Steven Dybvad"
