January 27, 2015
Rumors in Federal Prison
Rumors circulate around the prison compound on a regular basis. Most originate out of the law library where the "Jailhouse Lawyers" will announce that a particular inmate has won an appeal or that sentencing reform has been passed by Congress.
The rumor grapevine is known as Inmate.com.
Last week, Inmate.com pronounced that microwave ovens were being phased out by the BOP. This was a big deal to a number of prisoners who refuse to eat prison food, and instead create culinary delights with food purchased from the commissary in their trusty microwave ovens.
The day after this rumor circulated, a new microwave oven appeared in a unit where the previous microwave oven had broken. Its appearance quelled that rumor fairly quickly!
No matter, the very next day Inmate.com announced that one of the Prisoners who spends everyday in the law library (for the past 3 and 1/2 years) had won his case compelling the reduction of his sentence and that he was being released immediately. They also stated He also won $ 6,000,000 in damages for being wrongfully imprisoned.
A former lawyer read the order this prisoner received. The order was a "wee bit" different than the rumor. The actual court order dismissed the prisoner's case for lack of jurisdiction and contained one sentence that suggested that there was merit in one of the prisoner's 11 arguments. The Prisoner assumed the favorable sentence assured him of victory down the road when He refilled his action in the appropriate jurisdiction.
Rumors catch fire in prison because Prisoners want to believe anything that will reduce a prisoner's time behind bars. As a result, rumors will continue to circulate and I will do my very best to ignore them.
Ken Flaska
