Sunday, March 1, 2009
Seventy-Nine Days Until My Release From Taft Federal Prison Camp
A few days ago I wrote about some of the lessons I had learned from prison. In reading through excerpts of anthologies on philosophy, I came across thoughts from thinkers who had a profound influence on me. In reading about the trial of Socrates, I learned more about the meaning of good character. Many more stories were available through his teachings, and I particularly liked his allegory of the cave.
That story provided the message that we should strive to share the lessons that we learned. Sometimes those within our audience would reject the guidance we were striving to provide. Those rejections, however, must not deter us. Our commitment to the advancement of society, and to helping each individual reach his or her highest potential, ought to motivate us to continue.
A conversation I had with another prisoner illustrated some of the challenges I would face in my efforts to share what I have learned. His name was Dan, and Dan has a background that others would admire, at least on the surface. He had graduated from Cal Tech as a physicist and had built an impressive personal fortune through companies he had founded along with other investments he had made.
During one of our discussions, I told Dan that I had learned a great deal from my experience of having been put through the gauntlet of the criminal justice system. I stated with conviction that I would never make another decision that would cause me to look over my shoulders or worry about potential consequences.
Dan said that my perceptions were delusional. He said that the world did not operate in such a way. If I tried to do right all the time, while others were trying to make deals happen, I would go bankrupt.
I disagreed with Dan, and our conversation led to lengthy debate about the realities of living an ethical life in an unethical society. Our discussion was friendly, though at the end of the day, I felt somewhat deflated that I did not succeed in persuading Dan to change his perceptions. He felt adamant that skirting the rules and cheating were necessary to push business along. Frankly, he was a better debater than me.
Although I felt discouraged in that I wasn’t able to articulate my position persuasively enough, I felt more convinced than ever that living an honest, righteous life would stand the greater likelihood of leading to happiness and fulfillment. Dan felt convinced that a Machiavellian world required more flexibility. He was not remorseful for the financial crimes of which he stood convicted, and the five-year sentence he served was an incidental consequence. To him, prison was an unfortunate inconvenience, a cost he had to pay along the way. I saw a much deeper meaning in the experience, and I intended to work harder so that I could more effectively teach others, unwilling though they may be.
