Email from a Friend in Federal Prison
I need empathy to understand the feelings of the people I have hurt by committing my crime. Empathy is the ability to place yourself in the shoes of another and feel what they are feeling. I was able to do this last week after I received an email from a friend who was also an indirect victim of my crime.
I have not had the opportunity to talk with many of my former colleagues or the corporate employees of my banking victims. They were all banned from talking to me. Several folks did violate the ban as they were close to me. Most of the folks followed the ban as there was no benefit in speaking with me.
Those that I have spoken too have been polite. One of the Bankers has been communicating with Me on a semi-regular basis. That gave Me the opportunity to ask him how He really felt about everything. He complied with my request.
He told Me that He felt betrayed and that He could not imagine Me doing what I did. He also told Me if He had the power to shorten my sentence, that He would not do it. He also said He has not even thought about forgiving Me.
He also said I was a good friend to him in the past for many years, and that He assumed that I needed a friend and He could still be a friend to me. This gave Me some raw insight about how my victims really feel. I can only imagine the thoughts of others that were not as close to me.
At least I know how they feel. My apologies mean very little to them. There will not be some magical reconciliation between us. I accept that fact. The only thing I can really do is leave here a better man and make sure I live a healthy and responsible life. I plan to do that.
