December 01, 2014
Counting the days, biting my tongue, praying to God. This is what I have to do every day to keep from having a variably dangerous conflict with my temporary celly. To keep from creating more problems for myself, or him, or getting stuck in a moral dilemma I can’t comment specifically on some of my problems with this kid, but I can say that he really pissed me off, crossing the line of respect and testing my patience. It’s one problem when another inmate is careless, inconsiderate or disrespectful toward another inmate, this is fairly common because many of these men just don’t realize their faults, being raised in a broken home, with alcoholics and drug addicted families or any other number of problems life has thrown them, but in here there is a way of living and co-existing in prison that is well known amongst inmates. I don’t feel that I’m getting that code of respect from this celly I have right now and I’m ready to snap. All I can do is try to remind myself that I only have thirty days left of dealing with this kid, I pray that God will give me the patience I need to get through each day and I remind myself that I made the terrible decisions which led me to serving this 5 years in prison, knowing that this time isn’t supposed to be fun, or easy, it’s made to deter me from making any more bad decisions in life. This time in prison has been the most difficult part of my life thus far, I’ve learned a great deal from my past and for that reason I work each day to create a better future for myself and my children. So today I bite my tongue, I pray to God and I remind myself that I only have thirty days left of cell isolation with this ignorant kid that sleeps above me.