October 18, 2014
It’s been very hard to talk to my parents about this because they keep assuming that I’m making my own assumptions, jumping to conclusions, believing too many rumors being passed around by other inmates, when that couldn’t be any further from the truth. Nearly everything I’ve told them was well thought out, gathered information based on my own experience with the penal system and conversations with not one, but several inmates that have been in prison for decades. Much like someone gains more experience with time on their job, retaining knowledge of their profession, becoming a more valuable asset in the field of their profession, so does an inmate with years of experience in prison. This has been one major struggle for me, mostly with trying to get my parents to understand and believe what I’m saying isn’t based off of a bunch of rumors from the grapevine, or me being overdramatic, making things seems more hopeless for me than they really are. Now please don’t think that I’m frustrated with my family or ridiculing them in any kind of way. This has been very difficult for all of us, drug usage has been at the forefront of all my problems in life, every law I’ve broken as an adult has been for drugs. I’ve lived a life of lies and deceiving, unable to keep a job, or take care of my children, so many heart aches I’ve caused so many undeserving people, all to support a deadly disease. In the past when I would get in trouble, the first thing I would do is call my parents to bail me out of trouble, sometimes proclaiming my innocence. Years and years of crying wolf has made this rare moment in time, where I actually had nothing to do with the use of drugs has been so extremely hard to convince my family that I’m being truthful and I must admit that I had this coming. There’s nothing else I can do, but call this just another one of life’s lessons, doing whatever I can to accept my current situation and move on.