I've come to realize over the past 11 weeks of my incarceration how regimented and compulsive I can be with regard to my personal habits. My wife and children always tease me about being anal retentive and a structure freak but I always really believed that was strictly the way I conducted business and how devoted I could be to detail. Being in here I will have to say that my wife and children is spot on.
This place has made me realize that I am compulsive about a lot of my personal habits, if not all and I realize that now because it has been so difficult to keep them here in Camp Fed. Especially since there are 400+ inmates sharing such a small confined space. Just the fact that I love open space and crave the light is amazing that I've been able to adapt to the lack of both. The fact that we have 15 showers, 18 toilets is reason enough to go crazy. Add to this we are functioning in space that is far less than pristine and couple that with the constant noise, the shrillness of this environment is enough to make me want to scream. I have slowly adapted my idiosyncrasies to fit the environment, I only like to shower in one particular shower stall, I only like to use one particular toilette, I tend to shower at the same time every day, I exercise at the same time every day, my routine has adapted but I'm still doing my anal retentive thing as best as I can. I have come to embrace this part of me now because it is the small day to day routines that help me do as well as I think I'm doing and has given me the strength and sense of humor in all of this that will carry me through to the end of this sentence. I applaud my neurosis and thank goodness for them, chuckle, chuckle, guffaw!
