October 28, 2014
Continuing to be harassed by guards as a result of being on cell isolation isn’t getting any easier for me to deal with. I no longer try to be cordial, kind, or polite with the staff here at Madison, I honestly don’t believe in my heart that they deserve to be treated with respect when they give no respect to me. I’ll never be mean or rude to people, it’s not in my nature to act in such a way, but I refuse to smile, speak openly, or acknowledge a guard that talks to me like scum. Before this cell isolation punishment I had little interaction with the guards, I stayed out of their way and for the most part they left me alone. Now almost every guard I pass on the way to chow or school has something nasty, rude, disrespectful and just plain unnecessary to say. They treat me like the trouble maker of the prison when they have no idea why I have to wear this jumpsuit and they couldn’t be more wrong. I do my best to brush their constant comments off my shoulders, but it happens so often that it takes an effect, feeling like abuse and creating a serious distaste for the individuals working in this prison. Not every staff member acts this way, but a great many of them do, enough for me to avoid them at any cost. I now find myself very short with my responses to them, giving them no answers with ease, putting off a vibe that shows intolerance for them, letting them know their wasting their time in hopes that they’ll leave me alone faster. I’ve gone as far as growing a beard in an attempt to disguise my face for the duration of my stay on cell isolation. Once I’m released back into general population I don’t want to be recognized or remembered as one of those guys. As soon as they release me I’ll shave my face and go back to the hermit style life that has brought me success in achieving goals thus far. In the mean time I’ll do my best to look like an angry Grizzly Adams, continuing to thank God for the blessings in my life and pray that my struggles get a little easier in the future.