SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 22, 2008
Writer's Block From Federal Prison
It's Saturday evening, the 22nd of November. I've been bothered since this past Wednesday because I made a commitment to myself to write a daily blog. I haven't been able to live up to that obligation.
Writing is more difficult than I expected it to be. I haven't written this much since college nearly 12 years ago. At times I sit on the swivel chair in my assigned cubicle. It's not very comfortable as there isn't any padding or head rest. It's attached to a steel writing surface that is attached to a concrete wall. That's what prison is all about - concrete and steel.
Anyway, I sit on my steel stool staring down at the piece of writing paper in front of me. The time ticks as I wonder what to write. I also question my writing abilities. Was that verb used correctly, I wonder? Am I writing in the proper tense? When I question my ability as a writer and topics fail to materialize, my mind drifts off to all that I am missing. I miss my mom, dad, brother and sister-in-law. I miss the company of a beautiful woman while enjoying a glass of red wine. During these moments, when I am lamenting my separation from home, I realize that I'm not as well adjusted to imprisonment as I thought I was. Fortunately, I've always been able to snap out of a self-imposed funk. I immediately remind myself that I have already climbed the mountain and reached the summit. Now I'm scaling my way back down. I'm in control. If don't feel like writing, I can make the decision to put the pen down. There is a better way to pass my time than staring at a paper that simply stays blank.
Writer's block from federal prison is all part of the prison experience. Time doesn't always pass as easily as I would like. The key to mastering every moment is to live in the flow. If topics or words escape me, I can pick up a book to read. My mom recently sent me several books on writing techniques that I keep in my locker. I'm going to spend the rest of this Saturday reading and I may choose to read Sunday as well.
Monday I'll be back to the daily blog, refreshed and ready to go.
Justin Paperny
