# 3 Be a pace-setter in Federal Prison
I am proud to continue my series on the top 10 things one can do to help a loved in federal prison.
The person you care about in prison will likely struggle at some level to comprehend the passage of time, as suddenly it represents something different than it has ever represented before. A successful journey through prison is achieved by leaning forward into the passage of time, and it is a mental challenge to remain synchronized in a daily prison routine that provides healthy and predictable milestones. Controlling these milestones to approach with regularity, then pass behind while anticipating something new on the horizon will set the pace for success. You can be a significant help!
As someone who is close to the person going through this, you have unique knowledge of things that interest your friend or loved one. Pick an interesting topic that you both enjoy or understand, or just something thoughtful. Maybe you both share an interest in technology, sports, construction, the stock market, fishing, travel, science or movies. Chose anything, or even go with random thoughts. Just commit to something.
Here is the key: tell your friend or loved one that you will be initiating communication with them on a strict schedule. Let them know that they will receive an email or letter from you at a given interval. Maybe it is every 10 days, or two weeks, or once per month on a given day or once per quarter. Pick whatever makes sense in your situation and stick with it. Let them know that you will be reliable, but that they won’t hear from you before the given interval between communications has passed, nor will you be late in sending it. Some dialog back and forth each time you reach-out is expected, but the clock will reset when you send the initial communique each time, and your next email or letter will arrive on-time the following cycle. Each time they hear from you, they will know that another 10 days, or two weeks, or month has passed, or whatever the interval is that you have committed to.
Utilize this process to grow closer, particularly if you are a friend or relative trying to help from a distance. There will likely be others close to the person who will be communicating far more often, like a spouse or parents. By being the person who takes ownership of helping to set the pace in this manner, you will be providing an important cadence that will benefit your friend or loved. He or she will mark time based on your efforts. Additionally, you may know others who you can coordinate with as well, so one person may be able to commit to writing every 10 days, perhaps someone else once per month and someone else again once per quarter, each on your own unique topic. Don’t be late, and don’t be early. Set the pace and inspire a healthy journey!