February 20, 2015
No Place for Show Tunes!
but a few weeks back, like almost everyone else here, I wanted to watch the Super Bowl. I was excited to see that Idina Menzel was going to sing the national anthem. I love her having seen her both in Rent and in the previews for Wicked in SF before it went to Broadway. I wasn't disappointed - I thought her rendition was one of the best I have ever heard. Forgetting where I was for a moment, I applauded when she finished. I looked around and not only was I the only one applauding in a room of 100 guys, it was pretty clear that no one else knew who she was. Talk about being a fish out of water! Yikes!
That was a very instructive moment for me as it made me realize I need to be careful about really being myself here. On the outside I was 100% out and a low key, but consistently strong, advocate for gay rights. Here, I don't think it would go particularly well if I ran around advocating for same-sex marriage or LGBT employment non-discrimination. In a sense, it's a bit like being 20 years old and coming out all over again! To be fair, I have not heard a lot of overt homophobia here (although not surprisingly, the Bruce Jenner situation has spurred some unsympathetic remarks), and my sense is that the vast majority would not care one way or the other if they knew I was gay (and married). Still, I have to be honest and say it is difficult - and a bit stressful - to not be true to myself. On the other hand, it is not entirely dissimilar to how I behaved at medical meetings on the outside where my personal life was generally not a topic of discussion.
At this point, I have only told a handful of trusted friends and the reaction has been uniformly positive. Eventually word will get around though and I'll see how things go. My prediction is that the common bond we share as felons and the desire not to make waves will win out in the end. Hopefully I'll be able to report back in a few months with my version of Sally Field's Oscar acceptance speech (you like me, you really like me!) 🙂
David Applegate
