SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 2008 AT 01:08AM
As an undergraduate student at the University of Southern California, I studied psychology. More than a decade has passed since I graduated in 1997. Since then, I built a career in financial services which provided me with plenty of opportunities to learn business and economics. However, until I was sentenced to federal prison, I didn’t have much cause to contemplate about what I’d learned about psychological theories.
We are forced to adjust in prison. These communities deprive us of what many Americans consider the basic necessities of life. One of the worst aspects of confinement is the forced separation from women. I am not a monk by nature and this forced celibacy is causing me to go blind.
Freud’s theory about sublimation is that humans have natural primal urges of sexuality. When repressed, those sexual urges must express themselves in alternate ways. From what I remember, the intelligent being channels repressed sexual energy through creative endeavors such as painting, music or writing.
I sublimate my lack of sexuality through writing, but my daily postings are an ersatz substitute for a woman’s companionship. Of course I miss the sex, but more than that, I miss being around a beautiful woman. I hear too much vulgar, coarse talk in this community of felons. The longer I spend here, the more I realize how much I long for freedom. I look forward to sitting across the table from a woman. I want to inhale her scent, appreciate her figure and enjoy the sound of her voice.
Six months have passed since I entered prison camp and I expect to be here about 6 more. I’ll continue writing daily blogs; however, I’ve definitely concluded that Freud’s theory of sublimation is woefully inadequate. There is no substituting a man’s need for a woman.