February 25, 2015
I used to have a number of “friends”. Webster’s New World Dictionary, 2nd Edition; defines a “friend” as ” a person whom one knows well and is fond of”, “an allay, supporter, or sympathizer”. People have different saying about friends. “If you want a friend, buy a dog” (I had 2 dogs and they both were good friends). “Friends are overrated” ( except when you truly need one). “A true friend will be there to bail you out of jail” (Thank God I did not have to post bail). “A better friend will be in jail with you” (My friends made much better decisions than me).
As I sit here today in federal prison, I realize a number of my so-called friends were merely acquaintances who shared common interests. They were happy to socialize with me and have a pleasant time at various functions as long as our relationship did not cause them any discomfort. However, once I disclosed my crime to them, my friends had to tolerate embarrassment and disappointment if they still wanted to be my friend. For a number of my “so-called friends”, that was simply to much to endure. They were running to distance themselves from Me at a frantic pace. (who spooked the herd?) Many of these folks became bitter and made comments to disparage me (easy thing to do at this point in time).
To be honest, I do not harbor any ill will towards any of these former friends. I made very poor decisions. One of the consequences of making such poor decisions is to be ridiculed and belittled by others. The good news is that I still have some very good friends. They have chosen to support Me and assist Me despite my poor choices. I cannot tell you how good it feels to have people who still support you at a time like this. I hope to exit prison and live my life in a fashion that will make my remaining friends proud of me. It is the least I can do for them as I know they have been forced to endure real discomfort to remain my friend.