Never Hurry, Never Worry, Never, Never, Never Complain.
My first weekend in Federal prison which means I have been here exactly one week. Is that right? It’s only been one week? Anyway, I’m starting to get in the groove. Wake at 0600 go to breakfast, back to the housing unit, change clothes, go workout, back to the housing unit, shower, change clothes, eat lunch, read, write, eat dinner, go to class, walk the track, and finally go to bed.
I started walking/jogging at the prison track, which is made with a packed bed of crushed red brick (brick dust). When it’s dry everything from your knees down turns a rust red color. Looks like I will have to buy a second pair of commissary Reeboks to use as “house shoes”. That purchase however will have to wait until after the first of September. As a federal inmate here at Seagoville, I am allowed to spend $305.00 per month in the prison commissary. This month I have already spent $290.00 purchasing all of the “essentials “and my spending limit doesn’t renew until the first of the month.
The prison commissary is like a supply depot for a lot of the extra, not issued to an inmate items. You fill out a commissary list by placing a quantity number next to an item you want and then on shopping day you insert your list into a tiny mail slot where someone on the other side receives it. Then you stand around and wait for “Charlie Browns teacher” to call your name over the P.A. At which time you go behind the door and grab all your stuff as quick as you can. Grab and Go! No complaints and no delays. Oh well, it could be worse, right?
Speaking of no complaints, I have joined the “Never Worry” club. There is an older inmate that just so happens to be from my home state that has befriended me and he is the club president. So the gig is you recite, at least 10 times each day,
Never Hurry
Never Worry
Never, Never, Never Complain
This old man is constantly challenging me on this. He seems to be everywhere all the time. Popping up seemingly out of thin air sometimes, kind of weird but cool. He tells me once I’ve done this to his satisfaction for 30 days I will get some kind of certificate? He’s a really nice old guy and we talk about the same places at home all the time, so I’m playing along. What the heck, slow down, no worrying, and no complaining? I should give this challenge to my kids.
I have also taken a few of the classes being offered at night and one in particular made me laugh. The class is titled “Effective Time Management” and was scheduled to start at 6:00pm. I was locked in my housing unit until 5:50 (remember the whole controlled move thing?) and I had yet to eat dinner. So, at 5:50 I speed walked to chow and arrived at 5:54. I inhaled some sort of meat cake with beans (that’s a whole other blog) and was out of chow at 6:01. I then speed walked to class and arrived at 6:04. Phew! I walk into the classroom to find that I was the first and only one there. Everyone else trickled in until about 6:20 followed by the instructor at 6:30.
So much for the whole time management thing! Not to mention the whole “No Hurry” thing. I’m glad I didn’t run into old man Oregon!
All in all I’m starting to get a semi-routine and mostly I’m just trying to stay busy. If I stop for even a second my mind goes straight home, to my wife and kids. Tears well up in my eyes and I get a lump in my throat.
Speaking of moving, as I mentioned previously I have started a walk/run routine with a goal of losing 15 pounds by the end of September (I’ll keep you posted). I am out of shape!! I don’t think I’ve stopped sweating since I got here. People look at me as if to say, “Man, are you alright?” “This dude sweats just brushing his teeth.” I think it’s the humidity backed by 100-degree heat, brutal!!!
My wife also sent me the first of hopefully many books, “1776” by David McCullough and “What on Earth Am I Here For” by Rick Warren. (I love that title) I received them Thursday and today is Sunday and I’m halfway through both. I do not watch any T.V., which again people think is weird because that is what most people do ALL day. When I get up at 6:00 am the same people are watching TV that were there when I went to bed? I vowed day one to watch zero T.V. but rather devote my time to exercising, reading, writing, calling home, and taking a few classes. Besides, I really do NOT care what Kim Kardashian is doing or how to bow hunt from a tree stand! It’s mind numbing just walking by.
Another interesting thing is housing unit food. At the commissary you can buy all sorts of food items, crackers, cookies, soda, you name it they probably have it. Some of the guys (mostly the diehard TV watchers) do not leave the housing unit to eat, but rather they cook and eat all day out of their lockers with the food purchased at the commissary. I’ve seen the most elaborate meals, for instance a guy next door makes pizzas on Saturday. I’m talking full-blown made to order 15-inch pies with all the fixins’. He makes his own crust from God knows what and they smell delicious. These guys could make a million dollars publishing a book on microwave cooking, simply amazing. That being said I have also committed to eating only the three meals provided at the chow hall and not purchase any “extras” from the commissary. Wish me luck!
With all this talk of walking and running and trying to eat right I bet you’re thinking “he must sleep good at night” well, not so much! You see my mattress was used by a soldier in General George Washington’s Continental Army, circa 1774 and has seen better days. Its a whopping 1/16 of an inch thick and is placed on a solid steel bed pan (no springs). I think I have slept better in a folding lawn chair than I have since I have been here. I know I know, Never, Never, Never Complain. I better say that mantra a few more times or that certificate is history.
I hope someone is actually reading these blogs and if not, well, that okay. It’s still fun for me to put my thoughts and observations into type and because I’m not worrying anymore it’s all good.
Till next time remember,
Never Hurry
Never Worry
Never, Never, Never Complain
I’m reading you Steve……laughing and crying at the same time…….
Much much love
Thank you Laurie! We’re all crying a bit these days.
Love to all
Oh Steve—-your blog just made my day—especially lovely since today happens to be my birthday. Between rain last night (RAIN!—who even remembers what it is?), no smoke this morning for the first time in what seems like weeks, blue skies enhanced by puffy white clouds, and now this fantastic, funny, thought-provoking blog from you—well, no need to worry or complain today. I might have to hurry just a little bit though since Jen and I are going to Sanctuary One for an overnight “farm stay” later and I need to put my house in some kind of order for the house-sitter.
Anyway—not to worry (!)—you will have lots of people reading your blogs. Pam, who just called me from Santa Cruz where she’s helping take care of her mom, can hardly wait to sit down with coffee and settle in with YOU. If these first blogs you’ve sent are any example of what’s to come, we are in for a special experience. I hate that you are writing these from Texas instead of from your home computer, but it sounds like you are making the best possible use of your time there—AND you’re reminding those of us who are walking by your side (figuratively) on this journey, that there are lessons to be learned wherever we find ourselves. Thank you for that. I spent an hour or so with Sam on Wed. at the pool while the four mermaids cavorted in the water. She is, as you know, amazing. I know she is processing a ton, and grieving silently—but outwardly she is cheerful, funny, full of stories, and helping the rest of us process what you are going through. She is, as you of all people know best, the most fabulous of moms. Right now she is probably the tiredest of moms since she and Jen had their own sleep-over while the girls had their “Mayson birthday sleepover” The word “sleep” probably could be left out of that sentence.
Okay, my friend. Thank you so much for sharing this experience with us. I, too, want to send you books, so I’ll find out from Sam what the procedure is. In the meantime, know that you are being thought about and loved by so many—
love,
Marilyn
Hey Steve—I just commented on your wonderful blog, and supposedly posted the comment, but can not tell if it sent.
Marilyn
Hi Marilyn,
I am responding for Steve {Sam here} The beautiful comments did post. Thank you.
I am forwarding all of the comments to Steve.
Thank you
Steve, keep the faith and do what old man Oregon says! We are reading and your writing style is getting stronger and more compelling with each blog. Let your voice develop and take us, your readers, into your daily life through your written words. Sending you lots of love.
Aloha Steve,
Know that we are certainly reading your blog. In fact, if others are like me, they wait patiently for each entry. It’s important to us that you are okay and of sound mind (at least as sound as it always was…).
It’s somewhat familiar to hear of your routine and how you go about your day. Of course, it was under very different circumstances and I hesitate to make the comparison but it reminds me somewhat of my pre-deployment in Oklahoma and subsequent deployment to Kuwait. I spent much of my time trying to structure my days to focus on self improvement, not falling into mindless traps and maintaining relationships while away from home and the things I truly loved doing. Stay strong my friend as the light at the end of the tunnel seems incredibly dim, but it is there.
I’ve read 1776 and enjoyed it very much. Hey, you might even read tales about your mattress in that book.
I’ll look forward to your next post and will do my best to comment. Even if it’s just for a little bit more reading for you.
All of my very best to you. Your friend,
JM
Hi Steve: It all sounds so surreal but it is great to hear how you are doing. I think “Never Hurry; Never Worry; Never, Never, Never Complain” is sage advice that I might have to borrow! Our thoughts are with you…Jenn, Jer, and Sophie
Love this blog, Steve. It’s so good to “hear” your voice. I love all the descriptive detail. I get so excited when I see the notification of a new blog from you. You always bring me to tears, which I’m told is not a bad thing. It means I care. You’re like a good book that I don’t want to put down. I think about ALL THE TIME….wondering and hoping you are ok. Your voice sounds healthy and strong. I love your promise to skip the mindless TV. I have several good books I will be sending your way. And your exercise routine…inspiring!! When I read your blogs I can almost picture you doing the daily shuffle. I know there’s a lot of us “staying tuned” and, for that matter, won’t be changing the channel anytime soon. Big hugs heading your way! Love, Beth
Greetings Steve – So glad to hear that you are grinning and bearing it in TX (also, that you are turning the red rock on the track to an even finer dust :o)). Even though we have only known each for a very short period of time, I miss training with you and consider us good friends. You are a great listener and a great student. You have (and are displaying now) an amazing attitude and a strong will and that is AWESOME my friend!!!
Looking forward to hearing the stories that follow and the positive life changes that I know you will experience.
Yours in heath and wellness,
Erik
Hi Steve, I have been a co-worker with, and a friend of Eric for several years. He shared your story and your blog with me. I want to tell you I feel so blessed that he shared. I just opened your blog for the first time today and I must say I’ve not gotten much else done today (aside from eating a piece of cheesecake.???? I have laughed much and mere minutes later cried. Thank you for your blog, and keep writing!:) I will keep you and your family in my prayers!
Denise