Have you ever used a GPS device to navigate from point A to point B? At the beginning of your trip you plug in the desired destination and “voila” up pops the best route and estimated driving tine. Now you’re in the car and the GPS’s synthetic woman’s voice is guiding your every turn and you soon merge onto the highway. As you near your destination the now familiar, albeit annoying voice instructs you to “take the next exit on the right,” you approach the exit and start to notice orange construction signs and barricades. Your exit is closed due to construction. “What the?” “Oh no!” “This can’t be!” By now your heart rate and blood pressure rise collectively. The GPS voice starts barking out commands in a tone reminiscent of a marine drill sergeant. “Turn right!” “Exit on the right!” “Turn right NOW!”
You are obviously forced to disobey these direct orders and continue past the planned exit at freeway speed. “This isn’t part of the plan,” you say to yourself, “Now what?” The voices in your head are manifesting into spoken words, some only single syllables with just one vowel.
Just then you hear the familiar and now NOT so annoying GPS voice calmly announce, “Recalculating Route to Destination,” you breath deep and your grip loosens on the steering wheel while simultaneously your external voice is again silent and your minds voice says “Okay, I can do this, it’s all going to work out.”
We all have road maps for our lives, a destination of sorts, in the where and what we want to be, do and have by a given time.
“In 5 years I want to……….”
“In 10 years I would like to be………”
“When I retire I am going to……….”
However the path between where we are now and what we think is our destination is not a straight-line and is most definitely under construction. There are road signs down, exits closed, detours, and potholes, lots and lots of potholes.Sometimes we are forced to “recalculate our route.” We may even be forced to take an unplanned exit that just may lead us to a place we never knew existed. I am now, more than ever, convinced we are always being tested, not necessarily on our knowledge or ability to navigate from point A to point B as quickly as possible. But rather how we handle the unexpected detours and rough roads, and perhaps whether or not we can recognize that being re-routed to an unknown place may in fact become our true destination.
Having been a pilot my entire adult life I have planned long flights on numerous occasions. Always checking the enroute weather to determine the most suitable direction. One thing a pilot cannot really predict is turbulence. Yes, it may be reported in the weather report but you cannot see it like other weather patterns. Every pilot strives to make the takeoff and certainly the landings as smooth as possible, however there are bound to be bumps along the way. It is not the turbulence that defines the safety of the flight but how the pilot reacts to its effects.
Before coming to prison my family and I would enjoy watching those home renovation shows on television. You know the ones where somebody buys a “fixer upper” and plans on minimal renovations and maximum profits. Install some new carpet,give it a little fresh paint and it’s the neighborhood showpiece that buyers will fight over, NOT!
How boring would that be? What makes the show so entertaining is that behind every wall, and under every roof shingle there is another disaster. It’s the unknown and how they deal with it that makes the show real. You appreciate the result even more knowing all of the troubles and headaches the owner has gone through.
Coming to prison was not on my life’s itinerary. It has been determined that my life needs a renovation and my contractor just told me there are termites, asbestos, lead paint, a leaky roof, and an addition (in the form of 30 extra pounds) that was installed without a permit.
It’s going to take some time and lots of love and support from family and friends but the reveal will be worth it.
I am “recalculating my route. This journey will undoubtedly take me toplaces I have never been and I just might learn that what I thought was my originally planned destination is not where I was meant to go after all. There is still turbulence and stormy weather ahead, but I know I can “stick” the landing.
Dear Steve,
Every single blog you have written has been not only an inspiration to me, but also a wake-up call in my own life. You have become a wise teacher and, more than ever, a treasured friend. The pot-holes and detours you are experiencing are perhaps more confusing and loom larger than the ones most of us face in our everyday lives, but you seem to have garnered the wisdom to put them in perspective. This has nothing to do with anything, really, but when Pam and I were in Victoria a week ago I saw a magnet in Munroe’s bookstore that said, “Knowledge is knowing that a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.” Somehow, after I finished laughing my head off, I realized that it had some intereting implications for my life. More later…..but a profound thank you for the wisdom that comes through in these always entertaining blog posts. Love, Marilyn
Steve,
Once again your blog has touched me and many others. You are a man of incredible insight and strength and I truly admire your deep thought combined with a sharp wit. Much like others writing responses to your blogs, I find myself in awe of your character. There isn’t a day or two that go by without me thinking about you, your family and situation. I wish you, your family and your friends the best and only hope I could be half the man you are under the circumstances.
All the Best,
Dan
Thank you for this post Steve. In reading it this morning I felt like I was reading a morning meditation. Your insights and wisdom are shining. Love to you, Pam
Wow…this was an amazing post. Steve, you have found your voice and you need to keep writing. Love to you, as always.
Katie
Steve,
Thank you so much for this awesome post to your blog. It hit me right in the ticker. I’m going through a real rough patch myself right now and I’m looking everywhere for inspiration. Waking up to this post this morning is the most helpful thing I’ve come across, despite my fervent searching. I hope to one day share my story with you and like yours I hope it will have a happy ending.
In gratitude,
Your Friend, JM
Steve, I just read all of your blog posts so far and want to thank you for sharing! I’m looking forward to your next post.
You and your family are in our prayers.
Kurt
Buenos Dias… I mean Aloha…..
Steve 🙂 Thinking of you and sending oceans of love.
Keep your head up, your heart full of memories, and time will pass.
JA
I’ve been a long time coming to this response, Steve – hoped to get Bob’s comments too, but somehow he has been so busy it is phenomenal. Right now he’s out with Logan and Drew bucking 200 bales of hay from a neighbor who saved a whole pasture full for Logan (and the goats and Freddie the horse.) Hopefully he’s just driving the truck! But it’s true – 80 is the new 60, and he may be in the field with them! I’m actually looking forward to it – only a year and 2 mos to go.
You really got me thinking about all the route recalculations I (and WE) have taken over our long lives, and how much we have grown from the process. Passions I felt as a kid “preparing for life” in school – art, acting, music, dance, sociology and psychology, study of Latin America – all sources of great rewards and scholarships, and potential careers, really never had a chance. My one, utterly unshakeable passion was for family and children – other peoples’ and by the grace of God, my own. One month after nearly dying from the results of a ruptured endometriotic cyst, and the doc’s absolute diagnosis that childbearing was impossible for me due to massive scarring, I was pregnant with Minto. I promptly married a person who was NOT meant for me, and we were divorced 5 years later as the stress of living with him made me critically ill. I was sure I would NEVER marry again, and was due to go to Venezuela with an academic study two years later, when I met Bob, the most unlikely match in the world, yet one I instantly recognized. 51 years later we are still together, still deeply and intensely in love with each other despite all our differences – because of the amazing match of our hearts. We saved businesses, had children, left a solid money-making business behind, and moved here to a life of remarkable changes – rural living, enormous commitment to community activity, wonderful fun, and even small financial failures and ultimate huge successes. Our daughters met the loves of their lives here. Our grandson married and had his first child here. You and Sam have been handed this awful injustice, Bob was given months to live 6 years ago, I have gone through misery with one of our kids, and yet I have seen that most of these have led not to disaster, but to greater realization of our strengths and blessings. I have deep faith in and am seeing the responses that tell me you and Sam will also realize those.