April 27, 2015

Resentment

Resentment is defined as “feeling displeasure or hurt over the actions of another person” Resentment arises from the perceived wrongs committed by others against you. The wrongs can be intentional or unintentional. People harbor resentments against the living and the dead. Resentments are hard to let go of. Children often harbor resentments against their parents long after they have left this world. Most resentments exist because people fail to discuss the event that caused the resentment in the first place. An honest discussion goes a long way in towards tearing down a resentment, been if the parties simply agree to disagree. Many times the party who created the resentment is unaware of it. Other times, the offending party knows He made a mistake but does not know how to express an appropriate apology.
I am taking a class in prison that deals with resentment. One of the main resentments that arises in prison is anger against a former friend that has ‘snitched” on you. People want to blame the snitch as opposed to blaming themselves for engaging in criminal conduct and ending up on prison. Indeed, if you were not engaging in criminal activity, there would be nothing to snitch on? Several weeks ago, a fellow prisoner made a key point that stuck with me. ” If you expect people to forgive you for the crimes that brought you to prison, you have to forgive the people that you hold resentments against. It is a two way street”. Kind of like the bible, if you do not forgive your neighbor, how can you expect God to forgive you?
I have tried to let go of the resentments I have built up over the years because I know there are many folks out there that harbor resentment towards me. I hope someday that will be able to let go of the resentment they hold against me. Remember, harboring resentment is akin to drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die!

Ken Flaska

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