Why Do I Blog From Pensacola Federal Prison Camp?
It is hard to believe that I have been publishing my blog for almost 2 years. I guess it is also hard to believe that I have been in federal prison for almost 2 years. (Feels like 10 years!). Writing this blog was not my idea. The suggestion came from my prison consultant, Justin Paperny. My initial reaction was “You have got to be kidding me?” At the time, I was still trying to put my head in the sand and hide from all of the adverse consequences I created for so many people including myself. Why would I want to share my guilt, shame and embarrassment with the world? I still wanted to sweep it all under the rug and try and hide from it. Alas, hiding from my poor choices was difficult to do in the internet age. Justin convinced Me to write about my emotions and experiences, and He assured Me that I would feel better about myself if I did it. I followed his prison advice, and He was right.
Writing my blog has given me an outlet which has helped me through some very emotional and difficult times. It has allowed me to put into print the thoughts that were racing through my mind as I came into the prison environment. Other benefits of my blog include keeping my family and friends involved in my life even though I am in prison. I am able to relate to them how I am feeling and what I am experiencing. My blog also allows me to connect with others facing the same situation as me and to give them some perspective about prison life. I receive letters every week from someone who is awaiting prosecution, sentencing or preparing to come to prison. They seek advice, and mostly assurances that it will be ok. The letters remind me of how terrible I felt at that time in my life. The fear of prison is truly worse than prison.
My blog also allowed me to own my crime and take responsibility for my actions. That is something I had to do before I could move on with my life and try to start anew.
Thank you to Justin, for encouraging me to share my personal story through my prison blog.