Before I head back into my journey of personal growth, I want to wish my husband Ken a happy anniversary! Thanks for asking me to dance at Victoria Station 32 years ago today. Saying "yes" was the best decision I ever made!
In my last post on personal growth and change, I talked about how mindfulness - or being present - strikes me as kind of the core aspect of Buddhism. Over the next few posts, I want to talk about some of the other key teachings that are helping me to (hopefully) change for the better.
One of the core principles of Buddhism is to see the inner beauty and nobility of all human beings. Sounds pretty straightforward, right? In fact, I have always prided myself on being able to see and understand points of view that are different from mine and to be able to put myself in other people's shoes. However, once I started paying attention to this, I found the reality to be quite different from my perception. What I noticed is that generally I am only open to other points of view if I care about the person or find him or her to be interesting and/or articulate. So I guess I am something of "nobility snob." Conversely, I have noticed that I can be pretty judgmental and "categorizing" based on initial observations or conversations. This is particularly noticeable in this environment where I interact with lots of people who I would never run into on the "outside." While everyone pretty much gets along here, there is no shortage of behaviors that are annoying or irritating. Not really surprising when you consider it's 500 or so guys confined in a relatively small area.
What to do about it though? This is a really hard principle to follow since my brain has been doing this automatically for a very long time. Truth be told, I have been something of a snob for a very long time. It's another aspect of that David Applegate persona I created that I want to let go of. So I have been paying attention to when my mind wants to make assumptions and categorize and I stop that process and tell myself, "I don't know that to be true. There are many other possibilities and, most importantly, I have no idea what they have been through or what their journey is like." Jack Kornfield in the "Wise Heart" suggests that we see these individuals as small, innocent children. It actually works! He also suggests we have compassion and even pray for the people who are being the most difficult. Interestingly, I have found that it is hard to be angry with someone you are praying for. That has helped me work through any anger I have had.
Without getting too philosophical, it's likely that most of the world's problems are a result of people being too quick to judge and see people as "others" when in fact, we are all human, we are all noble and we are all interconnected. As I write this, Pope Francis is on the telly and he is an incredible example of how to practice this core Buddhist principle - and he's Catholic! My intention is to be more like him. I know I will fail frequently but I will be mindful and keep trying in every moment!
Be well!
David
