Hours Before Going To Federal Prison
It is Tuesday May 17, 2016, a day I will always remember. In just about an hour I will be going to federal prison. An uber car will pick me up at my hotel in Bakersfield, then drive me to Taft Federal Prison Camp.
If I had not been so productive over the last two months, I would be more much nervous and anxious. That said, I still have some anxieties and nerves. After all, I am about to enter federal prison.
I am pleased with some of the progress I made. I committed to writing a number of blogs before my surrender. I did. I began exercising a little more. And I began working on telling my story. Justin and I spent hours working on it, and he gave me some suggestions on how I can hone it in prison. No matter the progress I made I understand my family is disappointed in me. I cannot change that. I hope someday they can forgive me.
After I began to work on my story Justin suggested I do a podcast with his colleague, Michael Santos. I did it a couple weeks ago. Certainly, Michael is a guy who knows all about what I’m going through, having done it himself some years ago. I enjoyed doing the podcast with Michael. I found him to be a great guy and a good lead to moderate the interview and make me feel at ease. I think it was good for me to tell my story, to face the reality of my situation. It also gave me a chance to express what commitments I have made while I’m in federal prison camp. I want to better myself every day.
I have set specific goals in fitness, spirituality, education, and service. I’ve shared these goals in previous blogs. Now, I’ve also shared them with those who listened to the podcast. I hope everyone will hold me accountable to reach my goals. I’m appreciative of Justin and Michael for giving me some time on the podcast. In my opinion, they are outstanding men because they chose to own what they did, learn from it, and are now helping many people turn a difficult situation into something positive that will help them throughout their lives.
I feel prepared to start this journey. As my prison consultant Justin and his colleague, Jerry Howard have done a great job preparing me for what lies ahead. I’m so thankful for their wonderful help. Without them I don’t know if I would have made it. I thank them from the bottom of my heart.
I am sure that I’m in for the most critical time of my life. I’m leaving behind some great friends, who have stood by me through thick and thin, who have supported me when I’ve felt lost and was suffering. My family has been hurt the most by my decisions. I’m sure that my actions have caused them great sadness and pain. I am truly sorry, and I hope that those who are struggling with forgiveness, can somehow find a way in their hearts to forgive me. I love them all dearly.
I hope my friends, family, and associates will truly be blessed during the time that I am away. I hope that we can stay in contact by email and occasional phone calls. You can be assured that I will be thinking of you with fondness. I pray that the windows of heaven will be open to you every day. I hope that we will all find happiness and joy again in our lives. May God be with us all.
That is it for now. I am collecting my last thoughts before Uber shows up. My next blog will come from inside Taft Federal Prison Camp.
John Scott Clark