The New Normal
February 3, 2015
In a previous post, I talked about how it is important not to try to recreate the “outside world” here on the inside. Creating a life here at Taft Camp that is fulfilling and that makes the time pass quickly is an ongoing process and I am learning more about it at time goes on.
I have found that in certain aspects I have not been following my own advice. And I have my husband Ken to thank for helping me get to the next level in this process. Those of you who know Kenny know he has a tendency to be strong under adverse conditions and to push down issues and feelings that get in the way of his moving forward and doing what he has to do.
Since I checked in to the Hotel Taft, I have talked to Kenny every day on the phone and it was wonderful to hear his voice and hear about his day. It really helped me stay sane and I looked forward to it every day.
After a conversation Kenny had recently with a good friend of ours (thank you Mark!), Kenny told me a couple of days ago that our talking every day was getting in the way of him getting to his “New Normal.” My first reaction was that I was so grateful that he felt so secure in our relationship that he could tell me that. My second reaction was that the same was true for me. I was using our daily conversation as a “crutch” to hold onto a key part of my “normal life.” But I too need to get to a “New Normal.” Our conversation got me thinking about what state of mind makes the days go more quickly. The reality is that the more I think about and dwell on all the people that I miss (with Mr. Ken at the top of the list), the sadder I get and the longer the days seem. Days fly by when I am more focused on creating a new, successful life here.
So, Kenny and I decided to talk three days a week instead of every day and see how that goes. Getting to the “New Normal” does not mean that I don’t want to get emails and letters from my friends and families. Somehow that is different from the live phone conversations as I can get in the right frame of mind when I read and respond to those.
It is interesting. The amazing love and support from all my friends and family is like this positive force that is in the background all the time but not fully present. I think that accounts for my ability to continue to stay positive here every day and create the best life I can. But what I do miss is the ability to really have a heart to heart talk about the emotional roller coaster I am on sometimes. Maybe visits will fill that need. We shall see! It is all part of the process.
I am just so grateful that Kenny and I have the relationship that allows us to be completely honest like that. It is the most amazing gift of all and ultimately is what will get me through this successfully.
Thanks for listening!