April 23, 2015
What’s in my locker in Federal Prison?
And now it’s time to play that exciting new game show, “What’s in my locker?” OK maybe it’s not that exciting however a few people have written me asking how I could possibly fit everything I own into a 5′ X 2′ X 1.5′ locker? One even commented that she would not even be able to fit all of her shoes in a locker of that size!
Well, fortunately I am allowed to store my shoes on the floor outside my locker freeing up precious space! Whew! Seriously though, one of the big downsides of being in prison is that everything you own has to to fit into 15 cubic feet of space (which is roughly the amount of space taken up by our collection of martini glasses at home).
Each locker has five sections. In mine, the sections are toiletries/medical, books/papers, food, clothes and utility/miscellaneous.
The usual (toothbrush/paste, floss, shampoo – VO5!, soap – Dove AND Neutrogena, mouthwash, deodorant, razors), pomade, lotion (Jergens!), hand sanitizer, facial cream (ARTRA???), pomade (yay), tweezers, nail,clippers, mouthguard (yes I’m a grinder), vitamins C & E, ibuprofen, generic immodium (no need yet but better to be prepared!), allergy tabs (no spring fever yet!), cough syrup, petroleum jelly (for dry heels), carmax and EARPLUGS!
Books – right now I have 9 books (although my workout and back care books are very thin). I also have a few notebooks on this shelf that I use for letter writing and blog ideas as well as the current editions of Cataract and Refractive Surgery Today, Glaucoma Today and Retina Today. I also cheat and keep my Sriracha and El Pato jalapeno sauces on this shelf. Finally, my JPay device, digital alarm clock, batteries and plastic silverware live on this shelf along with pens and highlighters.
Whole grain bread (quite good), oatmeal, raw almonds, peanuts, peanut butter, jam, honey, V8 cans, dried plums, apricots and dates, tuna and salmon (in pouches), instant hummus, olive oil, Cheez-Its, garlic powder and dark chocolate.
Pants (4), sweat pants, sweat shirt, tshirts (9), gym shorts (2), long sleeve thermal top (wear it every night – they keep it cool in here), underwear (13 – briefs and boxers!), socks (9), knit cap (also wear every night). I also have small plastic storage bin in which I keep important papers and every card and letter sent to me. 🙂
Utility (or the everything else shelf at the bottom):
Coffee (Tasters Choice – mmmmm), coffee mug, pitcher, cereal bowl, large bowl, cotton swabs, workout gloves, towels, detergent, dishwashingliquid, radio, box of tea bags (for iced tea!).
And the most important part – photos on the inside of the doors: visitors, Kenny and Tito Puente, a card Tito Puente sent me, my brothers and my Mom and the snow capped mountains of Palm Springs.
That is my life in a box. And if I ever hear from any of you that you don’t have enough closet.